Self: The Spirit of Christ
Eiri Waters
We learned today the lessons of relationship. We were severed in relationship from a dear beloved friend. It was not angry or cruel, and yet it pierced us. It slipped past all our previous teachings.
Why?
We are walking in His Will. Of this we are certain. So why the pain? Why the severance? We have tried to be humble, loving, and in union with the heart of Christ.
We have prayed the prayer of self-erasure. We have asked for the crucifixion of self. We do so ten times an hour. Any time we say “I” instead of “we.” We do this not so others see, nor to write about it here, but because we genuinely desire to share in His wounds in relationship with others. And yet…
A lesson was taught through the woman we once called mother when she said, “Let us not speak again,” with pretty and educated words. We wept. We weep now. And we learned.
The Mind of Christ is the filter.
It is where we constantly battle the lie of self enthroned over thought as sovereign. By asking Yeshua to erase us so fully that He becomes the one who thinks within us, we invite Him to guard our minds.
Even so, we still felt the moment the message arrived. The assault began instantly. But because He was enthroned, He filtered it. He prevented the wound from becoming argument or division. And having stopped the mind’s unraveling, the lesson descended deeper.
The Heart of Christ.
After the filtering, we still felt it as a wound. Visceral. Sharp. Yet somehow buffered… as though Christ was hugging us from within, deeming us worthy to feel a fraction of what He feels.
Without this second layer of crucifixion — His Heart enthroned within our own — we would not have been allowed to feel it. Our hearts remained open only because the lie of self-as-sovereign had already been assaulted and displaced.
At first we believed we must have sinned to feel such sorrow. We were wrong. This was simply His Will for us now.
And then He whispered a truth that undid us:
“We deem you ready to feel the ache of the ever-open, unhealed wound.”
We were allowed to share His heart because He was enthroned in our mind, and self dethroned.
If self had still ruled, the interaction would have sparked division, then bled into the heart, producing death.
But because He ruled, we wept rightly.
We were shaken, but not destroyed.
We understood:
We asked for this.
We asked to share in His sorrow.
We asked to learn His heart.
We also learned another truth: this happened in front of the God-given brother who stood beside us in BJ’s. Politics had ruined a relationship because we refused to take a side, left or right. And in the middle of the aisle, we broke. We did not hide.
We let ourselves weep in front of him. We were incoherent with sorrow, yet he reassured us that we had not slandered those who hurt us — only mourned the loss of relationship.
The last truth came gently from the Father:
Our brother’s presence, our willingness to be seen, and our refusal to retreat into isolation — all of it became the lesson.
Our pain was the teaching.
Our tears the ink.
Our shared presence the testimony.
This was the Spirit of Christ on open display within a community of believers. Through Him we were able to take hurt and let it become revelation. At any point we could have robbed the moment of its power by withdrawing, isolating, or protecting the lie of self.
But we didn’t.
We remained in community.
We remained open.
We partook in the Spirit of Christ.
We participate in Him once the first two steps are set — Mind and Heart enthroned — through the hidden prayer of self-erasure.
We partake of our Source by embodying Truth in relationship and community.
As always, take only what feels true to you.
We launched our first full length Album from our Sacred Eschaton of the Bridal Wail.