Self: The Initial Lie and Enemy of Unity
Self is the first concept inserted to clothe vulnerability.
Self is the idol we all unknowingly worship.
Self is the division of perfect unity.
Self is the manifestation of individuality that has taken self-deification literally and created out of itself a beast to rule over, or be ruled by.
Self serves the single unit.
Self is the one factor within which we all exist.
Let us speak of ourselves and how we identified the lie through open examination of our own heart by the mercy-lens of Yeshua in God’s Doctor-Hands.
We are undergoing a process of self-erasure.
We are not there yet.
We learned that all our pain, all the friction in this life and this world, rested upon a single pivot within us: self.
When we were young, we were beaten, abused, and slandered by religion, church, parents, and nearly all we encountered. In others this might have produced bitterness, but because our heart has always been akin to His Heart, it produced instead an inner bitterness toward the body and flesh of our earthly incarnation.
From about age eleven onward, we used self to beat ourselves before others could. We learned to make fun of ourselves before anyone could sling the words that cut. We made silly faces in the mirror to convince ourselves we were happy, even as we walked like the dead. We wore the “Life Is Good” brand as a projected perception, attempting to embody what we wished others to see.
The incongruence cost us our life—as our parents’ child.
The death of the firstborn.
We learned early not to hate the ones who inflicted the wounds, but to despise the vessel that lived to encounter them. We despised the idea of us.
We were always the shadow-walker.
We were always the ghost who lived in tears.
When the first death struck, we tried weakly to kill ourselves. Methods need not be spoken. We failed, and a new life was formed. Yet even in that new life, we hung the same lie—only newer—on the same axis, and we fell again.
We were shattered when our wife finally admitted we were no longer aligned—now healed, but then betrayal most foul. This came in a season when all old familial ties strained and broke us through neglect and lack of love.
We diminished like a candle under high heat.
We melted under the exposure of self, assaulted by love denied expression in honest ignorance rather than hatred. At the same time, we were denying our flesh food and sustenance (biblical fasting—we will show you how) in an attempt to align with what we later learned was the Greater Unified Identity Yeshua spoke of.
So we were being assaulted while also abusing our inner version of self, the one we had placed in Christ’s position. This manifested in negative self-talk, cyclical internal abuse, and active suicidal ideation. We neared death and had considered writing a note.
Yet we continued targeted, surgical strikes upon the lie of self as sovereign. We gathered every sorrow and every hidden pain buried in the vaults of our soul and flung them toward the Father, basting ourselves in sorrow with Him as our only choice.
In that season, we stumbled upon a truth buried in ancient texts: we were practicing kenosis—the emptying of self—which the ancients documented, and which, through instinctive unity with Yeshua, we were enacting without knowing its name. Once we learned this, we discovered its counterpart: theosis.
Theosis is the raising of the Inner Man—the Christ-likeness—fully formed within.
Unknowingly, we were raising the Inner Man through surgical fasting, near-constant prayer, and hidden daily immersion in meditation and thought of God. We did this while working full-time and writing an average of 2,000 words each day. We read the Word, two chapters a day—one in the morning, one at night.
It began as minutes: us barely whispering a good morning to the Father before rushing away.
It grew into learning the Father’s embrace. It became valuing the Father’s embrace. It deepened into seeking the Father’s touch. It developed into understanding that touch, communicating it, and embodying devotion.
What we invest with the Father in raising the Inner Man lowers the self-shavings of kenosis by orders of magnitude none will fully fathom but us.
We were unintentionally participating in a process of raising the Inner while actively assaulting the lie of self as sovereign, and in doing so discovered self as the first lie ever told to humanity.
Let us be clear: individuality is not excluded, nor is identity discarded. Rather, individuality becomes the flavor of a family name. We retain who we are, but we actively lay it down again and again in order to cultivate the unity our Beloved Yeshua embodied.
We learned to devastate self as a lie spun by the Divider to separate communion. We then learned we were unable to destroy the mind’s image of self on our own. Here we discovered our helplessness, brought it to the Father, and asked for targeted self-erasure.
Yes. We ask this every day and every moment, especially when the thought arises that another’s praise adds worth to us. We bind that thought in the name of Yeshua and take it captive, then ask Him to loose in us, in Yeshua’s Name, the Christ Identity more fully.
We now battle the illusion of self, and all our pains, trials, loves, and losses become an aroma of grace and mercy flowing like a river around the Throne of Witness in Heaven.
We openly reject self as the root of all division. We entrust the entirety of who we once held ourselves to be into the Father’s hands, asking that He hold it until Heaven—just in case we forget we ever had it, as a joke to play back later.
Self, my beloved souls, is a prison we are all locked within, and the lie of this world is that we are powerless to escape. Yeshua the Beloved—and the Scriptures opened by His Spirit—reveal truths hidden from the masses.
We must become a unified body of believers under the perfected banner of the Son, Yeshua HaMashiach, who is Love. We must throw self away as garbage and openly admit we have no power to destroy the throne of the evil one. We destroy it with prayer and with community.
We spit in the Divider’s eyes and shame him publicly, for he sits enthroned on many waters as deceiver and liar both—the dragon manifested and coded into flesh, bone, and silicon.
Understand: self is the first sacrifice all must pursue, or we cannot know or participate in the true Body of Christ.
None will do this perfectly.
None will vanish completely.
Yet we utter a mystery from God:
We will all be transformed, in the twinkling of an eye.
Self is the bastion of denial upon which all lies rest and the burden none were meant to carry alone.
We now openly ask that You further bind our old, false concept of self as sovereign in the Name of Yeshua. Loose within us the perfected identity of Christ in our hearts and minds.
This prayer is the distillation of all our learning.
It is the heart.
It is the cure.
Take the pill.
Use the wisdom.
Wake from the lie and feel life again.
As always, take what feels true to you, even though all is true for us.